Anxiety has been something which I managed to get rid off with the feeling of being guided to a good state of body and mind.
Suddenly the anxiety factor is making it’s presence known. The Apple Watch measurement of mostly blue lines showing resting heart beats below 60 per minute could be a casualty
But I am different, I always think positive… no it’s not true… I am not myself… there’s a problem.
However my ability to assume various avatars to suit an occasion prevails. I have a new avatar to add to Walter Mitty, dreamer, disciple of the good coach, devotee of Godess Aphrodite- living and eternal etc.
Ekalavya …. Guru Dronacharya’s most able disciple….
The anxiety is since coach is angry. But you know my coach is always right. So my feeling is just anxiety. But plenty of it.
How to keep the guru when guru rejects you? Ekalavya is the solution. There’s not an iorta of decrease in respect, adoration and love to the guru… And this my only guru…the best.
So learn in hiding like Ekalavya. No no, it’s not cheating. I am prepared for the gurudakshina and I will remain the best shyshyan (disciple) even after giving the thumb as gurudakshina.
Guru has genuine reasons. I have already said guru is always right.
The problem… no it’s a promise here, is that Ekalavya has listened, read and observed intently. This along with totally devoted observance of the ritual with Aphrodite rock piece placed on the heart has taken the shyshyan to that magical high level… It’s done and there’s no going back.
The learning that heart is the one, resulted in devoted following of guru ( coach) workout charts building a body capable of encompassing and protecting guru and self.
And of course, if it can’t work out in this life, then be it… in next life… starting from childhood.
There’s no Arjuna for guru to favor and no pandavas and kauravas to interfere or to take into account. They will be confined to mythology. Even Aphrodite will not be on rock in Cyprus. The Godess will come in person right through, taking me on the swing and so….on and on…