It’s All Connected…

Mood, the present mood you are in, dictates what you do, think and plan… a concern, doubt or anxiety can upset your routine and if I may say… life..

We all do things for us and others, particularly loved ones. Good people sometimes give preference to loved ones than on things for themselves… this is not sacrifice.. this is genuineness, empathy, compassion and in the best of all cases love… of course if you are lucky to fall in love…

But all of us are not divine characters or super humans to be not concerned if a good act is not reciprocated … and the concern also varies in degree and intensity depending on the type of relationship.

For example, if the good gesture is out of just genuineness, you feel bad but can shrug it off. 

But consider the other extreme… if you’re lucky to find real love and if you think that there’s something wrong or something lacking from the other end… it can devastate you… you can pretend and act brave… at best.. but there’s no escape from that painful anxiety and downed mood..

I am not going to delve more into this… but I am possessed by one of these things and it’s upsetting my routines.. 

I am missing some good sleep… I even decided not to go to the gym yesterday… an act which I haven’t done voluntarily in the past few months… 

so something is worrying… genuine or not… I don’t know… and most likely it is the unnecessary anxiety for no reason…

Here’s where my immaturity is brazenly evident… 

whatever I try to project and pretend, there’s a very grown up and totally immature child in me…

That’s true… the reason why I need the coach, stone, mythology, dreams, katha and my very own Aphrodite…

Pull me, back ..up… I will behave…..

Katha thudarunnu……

Sleepless nights mean many many conscious breathing in and out chanting…

A story (katha) can tell most of the things expressively… 

but true love can only be experienced… it’s a genuine feeling… you can never plan it.. and probably you can’t prevent it…

No matter how you try to dismiss it saying it is a good story… it’s natural.. one has to do it at least once in lifetime etc etc.. it is none of these… so is it destiny… again no, probably as destiny can do without complications…

You can write stories giving solutions to complications… like ‘meaningful relationship outside marriage (MROM)… or next life….

But true love is independent… no connection to anything you do before it happens or the after solutions you want to try 

You won’t even realize it happened… and you know about it when you try to write about it… stories are stories… and you can continue to write….

You are a slave of a reality… no use to pretend… 

in whichever way ‘it’s the best thing ever’ … that’s a story…. so katha thudarunnu…..

It’s All Connected…

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